This Is Not a Love Story

In case you haven't noticed, I have two kids. Yes, I was married to a man (for seven years). That's not the point of this post. (Although I will say, we all get along just fine...no drama there. Sorry.)

It's awkward, at the beginning of a new relationship (hetero or homo, I don't think it matters) when one partner has children from a previous relationship. There are boundaries to establish, relationships to build--and not just with the kids.

So far, we're good. The kids have only slipped up and called The GF "daddy" once (who could blame the Short One--he's five...and she IS kinda butch).

It was hilarious though. We were at Wal-Mart, in the checkout line. The Short One spotted a Batman Pez set and ran to grab it. He held it up in front of his face and turned toward The GF...and said, "Daddy! Can you buy me this?"

He quickly corrected himself, but it was adorable. Mostly because of the look on The GF's face when he said it. She still talks about it (and always gets that dazed look on her face when it comes up.)

Which brings me to the point of this post. After The GF and I made our relationship official (read: we were together all the time--that's another post), the kids went through a phase where the phrase "you're not my mom/dad" came out of their wee mouths with every other sentence. It was disturbing--to all of us.

So, what does a lesbian mom (who has only recently come out and embraced her identity) tell her preschool-elementary aged children about...well, The GF? Though the boys and I have discussed the relationship, the GF, the Ex and I are not entirely sure they "get" it. At their ages, it doesn't surprise me.

Our solution? Patience. The GF took the boys on their first fishing trip (the Ex has never been interested in such things) and they loved it. It gave them a chance to spend time with her, doing something they all enjoyed. She took them with her to pick up my "special surprise birthday present" back in April. They love surprises. They also love building things, which turned out to be a bonus to the trip since they went to pick up the new entertainment cabinet we'd been eying.

They still have moments when they tune her out--maybe all the "playtime" with her (The GF and the boys share a love of video games and cartoons) skews their image of her and makes it difficult for them to see her as another adult in the family. Then again, sometimes she's THE adult they want--especially if they're looking for a move...or a snack. 

Oh. My. [insert deity here].

The Short One has an obsession with scissors. I swear he's got some kind of spiritual connection with the things. It doesn't matter where I hide them, he still finds them. After this incident I may consider encasing all the scissors in the house in concrete and sinking them in the pond at the park. (Probably still wouldn't help.)

Anyway...a few weeks ago, the child cut a hole in a blanket...because his "foot got hot." I get it. Ventilation. Still not okay. We had a "discussion," and I thought he got it that time. No more cutting things up.

Apparently I was wrong.

Tonight, while cleaning house, I discovered my craft scissors sitting on the kitchen counter. My first thought: Mayday! Mayday! Child has destroyed something.

I looked around the immediate area. Nothing.

I looked around the rest of the house. Nothing.

I looked for the child, who was with The Big One watching a movie on Netflix for Wii (I'll tell ya'll later how awesome that is later.) I asked him point blank if he'd had the scissors.

He turned to look at me.

And then I saw it.

He had cut a huge (HUGE!) chunk of hair off, right up front. It isn't even all the way across. Just on the left side.

His reasoning for this mutilation of his adorable sun-bleached blonde hair?

It was "itching in his eyes."

His hair was nowhere near his eyes. (Sigh.) Not the first time the kid's had two haircuts in one week.